I am young, married, and don't know what to do!?

I am 23. My husband is 29. We grew up together and "found" each other again 4 years ago. We have been married a little over a year. Our 2 1/2 year engagement was amazing. A little history. He was married before and his ex cheated on him and they divorced. He has two children (ages 10 and 8) from that marriage. Anyway, since we got married, it is like the romance is gone. He is repeating patterns that he had in his previous marriage and I am wondering if that is why his ex cheated. When we are "together" it is as if he is in it only for himself. I was a virgin until we were married. Often times, I walk away from feeling used. A month ago he fessed up to watching . He likes to be away from home, hanging out with his buddies, playing in his rock band. (Come on, he's 29 with a wife and two kids!) I am a nurse and I have noticed in the past couple of months, some of the doctors in their 50s turn my head. They are so intelligent and some of them aren't bad looking for their age either. I would never cheat on my hubby. I am in love with him, I just feel alone. Here I am a stepmom, with the baby daddy nowhere to be found. His kids came to me a couple of weekends ago and said "Are we going to actually get to spend time with dad this weekend?" What do I say to that? Their mom is married to their uncle and that is messed up, and then their dad seems like he is checking out of our marriage. Is this normal that other (older) men are getting my attention? When they talk to me, it seems like they really listen. When I try to talk to my husband about our problems, he just turns the blame back on me. I don't try to blame, I just tell him what I wish he would do--like in the bedroom, and he says things like "Well, when you start doing this, then I'll do that." So it never gets anywhere. I am 23 and too young to deal with all this and all these mixed emotions! Can anyone offer advice?