Help....I'm afraid no one can help me...(serious answers only)?

i have a completly different state of mind from the rest of the world. i see things differently. like, when i play my cello, i wonder how many horse hairs are in my bow. i can't help but feel depressed when i'm different from everyone else. i cut...no big surprise there. i've been thru so much, you name it, its happend to me.i've looked for help where ever i can find it, but so far, nothing has helped. Pills, hospital, therapy, psycology, YOGA!!!! i've tried what seems to be everything, and nothings helped, am i a lost cause?